Following in Your Footsteps
by WhereIsMyBacon
Summary: Alternate Universe. 8 years ago, Sai the unbeatable prodigy died in an accident to save his brother Hikaru. 8 years later, can Hikaru bring himself to face the game his brother loved the most, and accept the challenge of Touya Akira? [Complete]
1. Prologue

**Following in Your Footsteps**

By Halcyon Clouds

**Summary:** Alternate Universe. Sai, the youngest ever title holder, the unbeatable prodigy, died when he was just 15. 8 years later, can Hikaru bring himself to face the game his brother loved the most, and accept the challenge of Touya Akira?

**Introduction:** This happens in winter. I have an obsession with winter; it's the best season of the year in my opinion.

I love writing about family ties, don't know why though. Probably because there is a special relationship between people who are family to each other that I want to explore more in Hikago.

I'm also obsessed with death, as you probably realised.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. I'm just a fic writer without the decent talent to create such genuine characters for myself. Hikaru no Go belongs to Yumi Hotta and Takeshi Obata. I worship them.

**~ ~ ~ Prologue ~ ~ ~**

_8 years ago..._

A small hand made a transparent imprint on the frosted glass. A large pair of curious olive-green eyes bright with anticipation peeked through that little skylight enclosed within misty surroundings. Not for long, a distinct red sports car pulled up in front of the house. The door opened, out stepped a boy of about fifteen. He closed the door carefully behind him and bowed as the red car whirred out of sight, trailing a path of hot fumes in the air.

He looked up, saw the little observer glued to the window on the higher levels of the house, broke into a bright smile and waved.

He was tall, elegant but not pompous, with medium length purple-tinged dark hair, brilliant violet eyes set into a face of soft features, and skin as pale as the snow itself that carpeted the lawn at this time. A fire-passionate soul burned within an iceberg exterior; beautiful only at a distance.

However, no one seeing this person for the first time would think of him as a merciless executioner or an arrow strung to the bow of an experienced archer; fast, precise, lethal. Go was his weapon, every move a chilling razor edge, unfailingly aimed at each critical weakness.

***************************************

The former Kisei gripped his fan, fingers wrapped around its timber frame, thumb pressing down hard as the stubby nail dug deep into the wood. Beads of sweat glistened on his forehead and neck, quivering with each pulse of bulging veins that crawled over his temple.

The man gingerly patted the floor at his side with the free hand; small movements, as though one jerk in the wrong direction and his entire limb might due to be snapped off. 

The dish with ready-prepared serviettes lay inches away; the hand continued its search blindly.

He dare not take his eyes off the board, it was too risky…

He dare not take his eyes off the stones…one small shift…all it takes to kill. 

Beautiful, deadly, the snake's eyes to the prospect of a crouching frog, the visions of its last moments…

It wasn't a snake that sat across from him, across the wooden battlefield between them. It wasn't the eyes that held the gaze transfixed, either.

In the old man's life of playing against his rivals, each having endured the adversities of the game and life itself, not one game matched up to the intensity, the increasingly burdening load added with each move…

…he placed it like a feather. 

Meaningless.

Face void of any moisture or expression.

_How dare he…_

"Hmpf! Don't get so cocky just yet! I've been playing Go longer than you've been alive!"

Courage only salvaged, just enough to grab a towel with a fleeting mop to his brows before slapping down a stone. 

His opponent didn't look up, no need to address such a comment with any eye contact.

"I live to play Go."

With that, and a resounding 'pa-chi!'. Sparks sprang as the shale connected with the wood.

He felt dizzy, his throne slowly slipping away from under him.

***************************************

The owner of the small handprint hopped down the stairs, two at a time, breathlessly pulled open the big heavy main door just when the handle turned.

"I'm back, Hikaru." The smiling older boy stepped in; cold mist blew in from the door gap, brushing his dark hair against his face.

"How was it? How was it?" The same old question asked, expecting the same old answers.

"I won." The same old answer, replied with a good nature. "Where's okaasan?"

"She went out," said the high, childish voice, whisking the topic abruptly aside. There were more important things, "Sai, aren't you going to stay a bit longer this time?"

Sai reached out his hand and patted the black-haired boy on the head, ruffling the split front bangs.

"I will try. But Go comes first."

"Is Go really that fun?" Hikaru huffed and demanded of his brother, brushing the older boy's hand away from his head, "You play all day long, aren't you tired at all?"

"No, because I love Go above anything else." Sai patiently explained. Even though this was an old question too, Hikaru never seemed to be tired of asking it. "Do you want to play a game before okaasan comes home and starts nagging?"

"I'll think about it." The answer came in a child's voice, trying to speak like an adult. "You beat me every single time it's no fun."

"I can let you win--"

"No! I want to beat you fair and square! Someday I will!"

Sai chuckled at this little quip; such big words. His younger brother clearly had no concept of the hardships of getting to the top. Such naïve expressions escape from his mouth incessantly, with no consideration of the true meaning that lies behind each one.

"You said so! You said that I can play you fairly someday!"

_But you couldn't expect so much from him, he's only five, after all._

"I keep my promises."

Hikaru looked at Sai, staring at him in such a way as if trying to make something happen with his eyes. The little boy's posture was entirely unfitting of someone his age. Sai tried hard to keep his face neutral under this scrutiny. Hikaru, though young as he is, hated being regarded as a baby.

"Alright, I'll play." Hikaru concluded finally, letting out a big breath, as if doing so was like giving his brother a blessing the young Go pro should be eternally grateful for.

"Thank you, Hikaru." Sai knowingly made the right reply. He turned to leave the foyer.

"Come on," He looked over a shoulder and waved to his little counterpart. "We can take out the board and play 'til okaasan comes back."

The black-haired youngster bounded after Sai, still wearing an 'I-am-only-doing-this-for-the-sake-of-you' expression. But his eyes gave him away, each dark green pupil held a twinkle of excitement.

The prodigy sighed and shrugged.

Knowing Hikaru derived with the knowledge that he'd probably need to keep that piece of observation to himself.

***************************************

_I promised…to him…and to that child too._

_Perhaps one day they will meet._

_But…_

_…will I still be here…_

_…to guide them on their way...?_

***************************************

Hikaru gulped. It was always like taking a bet, or tossing a coin, a good side and a bad side, results with the potential to incline to either. However, it's been always landing on the bad lately.

Ever since his older brother Sai became a pro, or even before that, the house was hollow of his presence. Before Hikaru even existed, Sai's name was known throughout the Go world. Go prodigy, as they would refer to him, the fast-rising sensation that was already kicking Go pro-asses before he even reached his teens. 

For various reasons, he was always kept away from the place called home. 

"Sai…" he fumbled with packing the stones away into their respective tubs, "How long can you stay now? Really?"

When the young pro didn't reply immediately, Hikaru sunk into his clothes, disappointed. "You'll need to go soon, huh?"

"...I can take you to the Ki-in tomorrow."

Hikaru raised his head off slumped shoulders. Say _what_?

"And then, how's about going for ramen?" Sai knew Hikaru's weakness well, a rare mischievous smile hung lightly on the corner of his mouth.

"…really?" The younger boy did not dare to believe his ears.

"I've just finished an important match; don't think another one's lined up for a while." Sai smiled as he saw Hikaru brightening up in an instant.

"You have to show me the Room of Profound Darkness!" Hikaru raised his voice suddenly, jabbing a finger at Sai, almost accusingly.

"Of course."

"And the Insei room…and the gift shop…and…and…"

"Don't worry. I'll show you all around."

"You swear?"

"I swear."

Hikaru whooped his glee and leapt back to his seat and crossed his arms with satisfaction. Sai sighed inwardly; he had just given the enthusiastic boy a valid reason to sabotage sleeping hours. 

_Okaasan will never let me get away with it._ Sai thought with a mental sweatdrop. 

As if she can sense what goes on in her sons' mind. The duo's mother appeared at the door, wearing an outfit distinctly different from the usual apron-and-housedress combination. Evidently she had just come back from whatever errand she was on.

"Sai!" Replacing the surprised look quickly with worry, she came up to them, "You could've called if you were going to come home! Then I could prepare something for you!"

"I did call, but Hikaru got the phone."

"Oh, never mind then," She slung her coat onto the back of a chair. "Would you like something to eat now?"

"It's okay, 'kaasan. I had lunch with the Meijin group at the Ki-in."

"Ah!" The brown-haired woman smacked a fist onto her palm, "That reminds me." She hurried over to a kitchen counter and took out something that looked like an envelope. Hikaru followed her with curious eyes.

"This arrived during your leave in Hokkaido. It's addressed to you." She passed on the paper to Sai, who took it without a word. He tore open the fold carefully and took out the thin sheet, scanning over the text with narrowing violet eyes.

Hikaru sensed something foreboding, but couldn't quite put his finger on it.

After a few moments, Sai turned around to face the boy, his expression grim.

"Hi--" 

"You can't go." Hikaru interrupted him, voice low. The younger boy's expressions hardened, "You promised."

"Bu--"

"YOU PROMISED!" Disappointment, sense of betrayal, and pain were all displayed in the trembling voice of the youngster. "You can't lie!"

"Hikaru! Your brother has more important things to do!"

"I'm sorry, but…"

Then, it all happened too fast.

Without warning, Hikaru grabbed hold of the container in front of him -- despite it being heavy for a person his size -- and crashed out of the door, into the cold air. Face screwed with a cocktail of emotions he was too young to understand. But it hurt, it hurt a lot.

Sai didn't move immediately, stunned for a second or two by the sequence of happenings.

"Hikaru!" Their mother dashed to the door, evidently angered by the boy's impulsive action. 

"You come back this instant! Do you hear me!?"

When it finally registered into him what was going on, the older boy flung himself from the spot, and sprinted out the doorway following the runaway's lead.

"Hikaru!" 

His voice carried a distance. Ahead, the young boy, clutching a heavy container full of shale stones, persistently ran on, paying no heed to what other than fatigue that was gradually gaining up on him.

Go had never felt so noxious in his awareness before that moment. He hated it. It burn and stung like venom.

_If…if it weren't for Go..._

_He wouldn't leave…he wouldn't be gone everyday…_

"Hikaru! Listen to me!" The voice sounded a lot closer now.

_If it weren't for Go…_

_I don't have to be alone, everyday…_

"Just stop it!"

_If it weren't…_

"HIKARU!!"

The sudden impact of Sai's voice knocked Hikaru back into conscious. He gasped when he saw what was in front of him, and skidded to a sudden halt, which was hard to do when you carry a heavy load. This nearly put him off-balance and sprawling onto the ground.

Lights.

Lights everywhere blinded his eyes, flashing in all directions, accompanied with thundering noises that didn't help with the shock. Hikaru was momentarily taken aback by what he was about to run into.

In a flash, Sai was at his side, panting from the effort of running and shouting.

No time to think.

Hikaru dove headfirst into the burst of light, before the young pro had a chance to grab him.

Now, every second seemed to be elongated to its fullest, everything to a near standstill.

_Eyes…glowing…?_

"HIKARUU~~!!"

It was as if someone paused time, and then played it in slow motion. Thoughts too fast to be put into action scattered in the minds, like a cluster of thousands of flapping wings…

Hikaru felt something connect with the back of his shoulders. Then a great force made him lurch forwards, feet clear off the ground. He was airborne for a few seconds, even a period of time much longer than that, or so it feels.

The sound of tyres skidding to a halt, the roaring engine, and the blaring horns attacked his sense of hearing. Drawing a long arc in the intensely lengthened time, the noise ripped open the sky with its many menacing claws. He could hear nothing else. Not even his own sound as he landed hard on the concrete.

He landed on his side, scraping across the rough grains that bit and tore into his clothing and skin. The lid of the container had flown off during his free ride, and now resides a few feet from where he hit solid ground. Some stones took to the air from the force of the fall and the impact. They showered from the sky in a chorus of clattering sounds, like a string of beads that came loose over a glass table. Surprisingly enough, the container was still firmly in his grasp.

Hikaru put a scarred hand to his head, rubbing to ease the throbbing pain, in the process staining his own face with blood. He felt confused, and couldn't quite put his thoughts into order. Everything happened so…obscurely. Time was distorted. The young boy didn't have a vague idea what had gone through in the vicinity of his presence. His field of vision was filled with blurring images, mostly dark and resembling shadows. Light shone through in furry star-like blotches to indicate some sort of silhouette against what was occurring. He blinked to sharpen the picture.

In front of him, still vibrating with the pounding engine, was a truck.

Hikaru stared, dumbfounded, at the massive thing. Besides seeing that it was enormous, he also noticed something else.

It was not moving.

Vehicles don't usually just stop where they are on this stretch of road.

A deep anxiety began to bubble up from his insides.

_Where's Sai?_

_Where's my brother?_

Hikaru looked around frantically from where he half-lay on the ground. There were people, people all around them, saying things alien to his knowledge. He didn't care about them; all he wanted to see was a particular person, an older boy with amethyst eyes and a smile that told him everything was okay.

No familiar faces amongst the crowd.

He scrambled to his feet; it felt like someone had put his legs through the processions of a clamp. It hurt like hell. But he doesn't care anymore. With the most speed he could muster, Hikaru dashed towards the head of the truck, half-expecting Sai to pop out from behind it and give him heck for running off like that. He hoped with all five years of his life, anything, anything but…

_Please…anything except…_

Then his mind went blank at what he saw.

It was as if something had sucked every single comprehendible thought out of it, leaving it parch-dried and empty. He refused to believe what lay before his eyes.

Blood. Red. Lifeless. Limp.

Death.

There was no feeling in his limbs, as if his own blood had also spilled away completely. 

The stones container crashed to the ground from his trembling hands, shattering in front of his feet with a dull crack that sounded miles away. Black stones spilled and leapt in all directions from among the wooden shards.

Hikaru could not longer tell the difference between the Go stones that dotted the road and the dark splotches of blood, for each melted into the other.

Then everything went black.

***************************************

**A/N:**

After killing many hours, cups of coffee, and brain cells along the way, the prologue is done. *author applauds herself* Although I can be absolutely sure that most of the talented people here can do the equivalent in twenty minutes…*pokes Murinae-san*

Hikaru is five in the prologue…and I think I made him a bit too mature to be five. But Hikaru always gave me an idea that he is very bright from an early age on, although his mental development stunted at around the age of 12, but it picked up again after he met Sai. Nevertheless, it was extremely stupid, what he did. And it was completely my fault. I give you permission to pinch me black and blue.

It sucks that I really wish I can draw manga, just like the great Obata-sama, but I can't. Quick events are too hard to describe in words, and I'm not skilled enough to make it sound all exciting, so I'm just horrible.

The accident scene…wasn't that just a classic? I'm lacking in originality. I can count my fingers on the number of anime this sort of scene appeared in…Chobits…Pita-Ten…Rizelmine…maybe even more.

Many thanks to **Shinigami Clara** for helping smash my writer's block on this fic! Although I can't even tell if I had any inspiration in the first place to be able to say I lack it. I'd fair say she took some real part in getting this fic up to its standards to be on FanFic.net. Send your appreciations her way!

Finally, I don't want to promote the image 'Hikaru is a sinner!' so please don't do it for me. I personally have interests in Hikaru *snickers*, but that's another story…

Alright, that's it for the prologue A/N. Reviews are always a better source of energy than coffee or Gatorade ^_^ Tell me what you think! Any questions? (Replies will be made in the next chapter)

Wheeew! I need to take a rest.

--

Sal (halcyon_clouds@hotmail.com)

P.S. Listen to .hack//SIGN music while writing fanfiction, It helps with the ideas ;)


	2. Chapter 1 Crossed Paths

Replies, replies…thanks to reviewers who supported my prologue! *hands out 12 chocolate-chip cookies*

**Shinigami Clara:** Yo! You came to review! Thanks for helping me with the idea! Some of the credit really goes to you, if it weren't for the phoning I wouldn't ever be able to get it done. I beta'd your work too, so we're equal!

**Regatto:** Thanks for the review! I was actually planning for this fic to be somewhat a bit realistic, hence no thousand-year-old Heian ghost possessing 12-year-old little boys. But I'll see, it's certainly an interesting idea. And…saying that this fic might become one of the best is really a compliment I'm embarrassed to accept! But thanks a lot! And hope you will enjoy this chapter too^^

**Shiyu:** I swear I have **never** seen the anime Crush Gear Turbo, I was kind of surprised when you brought up the topic. Got to go and do some research…

I'm glad you like the premise, and it's a compliment to me that my fic resembles an anime you like! I was kind of stuck on the family name thing, so I didn't mention it in the prologue. Read this chapter to see which one (Fujiwara or Shindo) I've decided upon. 

**Urain:** I'm glad you like this fic, and hope you will keep reading and reviewing!

**Kleptomaniac Can Opener:** Ah! It makes me happy to see that people actually wants to read more! Looks like I can't slack off anymore, which is what I fully intended on doing after I uploaded the prologue. But as I said, reviews give me lots of energy! You've pretty much guessed the idea, but we still have yet to see where Akira fits in on all this. Stay tuned!

**Jessi-chan:** Ouch. You really pinched me black and blue there! I know the prologue is depressing, but I hope you can find the next chapter more enjoyable^^

**LadyJessy:** I haven't much thought of having Sai in a coma, it might work, but then I will have to change my entire plan of the story and rewrite it! I'm a lazy person…Sooo, I go with the notion of 'there's no crying over spilt milk'. Hope you won't blame me for it :P

**Shimizu**** Hitomi:** Does this mean you will come back to review nee? I welcome reviews with open arms^^ Hope you will like this fic and its progress in the future! I like A/Us too, because you can practically write anything you want :P

**Lilliess-Hydrass:** Ack, I know the prologue is sad. But I promise promise future chapters won't be so tragedy-orientated. People are accusing me of killing Sai now…but in return I present the emotional-torture of Hikaru, which is supposedly totally against my morals, but you gotta balance it. *wince wince*

**Kyaroru:** *Dances on water* I'm happy people like my humble little fic! I surprised that you like the part about Hikaru dashing out, because I was so critical of that part I rewrote it several times, looks like hard work does pay off^^; I know! In the beginning I switched to two different perspectives so it was hard to follow. I don't think I should do that anymore^^;;;

**JMJV:** Did this update come soon enough? I sure hope so. I'm also glad you think my prologue was smashing. Enjoy the next chapter nee?

**jasper tears:** Ahh! Don't kill me please! Here is the next chapter…hope you find it more enjoyable…and please don't point a pitchfork to my throat for not planning for Sai to come back T__T!! I want  him to be back too! But I'm being more realistic than usual…

**Following in Your Footsteps**

By Halcyon Clouds (A.K.A. Sal)

**Intro:** (Last time on _Following_: 8 years ago, Sai the Go prodigy died in an accident to save his younger brother Hikaru.)

I introduce the Hikaru in the present time! There are a lot of 'hints' as to what happened in the past that affect him in the present. You can pick those up quite easily as you know what happened from the prologue. There's also something strange about the Hikaru I made even I couldn't put a finger on. Sooo, please put up with with it^^;;;

**Disclaimer: **

Hikaru: I don't belong to the author.

_Sal: That's right, you don't._

Akira: I don't belong to the author.

_Sal: That's right, you don't._

_"……"_

_*Sigh*_

**Chapter 1 – Crossed Paths**

The streets of Tokyo were bustling with activity as usual.

People hurried to and fro like worker bees, traffic did pretty much the same. Nothing was at a static state, almost…

He stood some distance from a newspaper stand. To the passer-by's eyes, he looked like he was intently observing air in front of him, seemingly fascinated by the invisible matter.

He was a boy short for his age, and a typical modern youth. He wore a T-shirt sporting a big prominent '5' printed in black across the front, and wide brown shorts. But the most notable impression one would have of him were those bleached bangs, bright yellow contrasting sharply to raven-black natural hair; a personality established on its own. The eyes seemed dull green at first sight, but closer examination would reveal a brilliance embedded deep within...like an optical illusion, when you focused directly on it, it disappears.

No one knew of the tug-of-war that went on in his head, the game was at its heights, both teams were straining with all their might.

_Buy…don't buy…buy…don't…_

_…buy…no, don't…but…argh!_

He shrugged as the winning side prompted him to take striding steps towards the newspaper stand, money clutched tightly in determined fists.

"The latest edition of Weekly Go please."

The boy flipped open the paper impatiently but reluctantly, as if he was a student holding his end-of-year report card. He scanned over the headlines; 'Ogata ku-dan challenges Kuwabara Honinbou', 'Touya Meijin defends title'…

Et cetera, et cetera. He can come to that later on.

It was the game records that truly interested him; Weekly Go publishes records of important matches, mainly of titles and title preliminaries, along with detailed explanations of each step the genuine top players take.

It's certainly interesting…to see how the minds of people in that world function…

The boy folded up the paper after a few moments of scan-reading on the spot, and placed it into his messenger bag. Having some destination in mind, he headed down the street with a quickening pace, rapidly surpassing people ahead of him until he broke into a jog, then a run. Suddenly, he halted his feet, and stopped abruptly at a junction.

A truck was pulling out amongst the traffic, manoeuvring its cargo-body clumsily through the maze.

The boy backed away from the vehicle several steps. He turned and walked away without hesitation, like escaping from something he doesn't want to face. He crossed the road adjacent to that junction, then crossed two more roads until he ended up on the other side of the truck, and continued on from there.

***************************************

"I'm home!" Hikaru habitually called to no one in particular. It was one of those home policies.

"You're ten minutes late." His mother stuck a head out of the kitchen and addressed him, voice not sounding entirely pleased. "Where have you been?"

"I forgot the time." The boy in question mustered an answer without much thought.

"That was your excuse yesterday!" The lady of the house raised her tone, "Do you have any idea how worried I get…"

Hikaru shut his ears, he knew what was coming up, and didn't want to hear a word of it.

_How can I ever forget?_

Without further ado, Hikaru climbed up the stairs to the his private domain, ignoring his mother's lecturing. As he laid a hand on the doorknob leading to his room, he couldn't help but turn his head, as if some invisible force had driven him to, in the direction of another door further down the corridor. The closed door. 

The door was closed for a reason. A reason Hikaru felt a twinge somewhere inside to think about, like pulling off the scab on an old wound. He broke his vision away and entered his own room.

Solitude was time to be treasured. Hikaru felt he'd spent most, or certainly more than any other, time of his life in solitude, registering also the past years of his life. His room was a retreat, or an escape as in the situation posed today. He spent nearly all of his homing hours staying in this private corner of the house, only leaving it for various physical needs.

Hikaru lowered his messenger bag to the floor, opened it and dug out the paper. Settling himself in a comfortable position with back leaning on the edge of his bed, the boy thumbed the pages intently. It was something he looked forward to each week, yet felt a bit guilty to be involved in.

_I'm only reading the paper…it's…it's not as if…I'm playing._

_So that's okay…right?_

***************************************

_Ever…ever since THAT happened…8 years ago…_

_I couldn't pick up another stone in my fingers._

_He loved the game more than anything else._

_What right do I have, what right…does the person who was the cause of his death has…to touch it?_

***************************************

The rumbling of the train drowned out many sounds. Lampposts and trees swept past in fleeting motions, occasionally cutting off the motes of light that shone through clear glass. Late afternoon was always a lazy time.

Hikaru wasn't entirely concentrating on his surroundings. Hanging on to the pole, he let his thoughts go blank. It had been a tiring day, having a summer job wasn't exactly a piece of cake. School was due to start in another month, and that wasn't a good thought, either. It means having to face teachers, books, homework…and -- he gulped -- people from the Go club. Where there is Go, Hikaru felt uneasy, like an allergy to something he doesn't exactly dislike. 

They know, after all. They know who he is, and who he's related to.

Hikaru wrinkled his nose in disdain. _Tche, what do they know? As if I can ever measure up to anyone's expectations…_

Suddenly, something in the corner of his eye caught his attention. Someone standing near the gates flipped open a book.

It wasn't just any book. Pages filled with criss-crossed lines and black and white circles, none other than a Kifu manual.

Hikaru craned his neck to get a better look. As aforementioned, game records always interested him.  He shifted his feet in small steps, hands letting go of the pole.

Closer…closer now.

Hikaru approached the book cautiously, printed characters slowly sharpened into view. He could see the numberings on the stones and the players' names clearly now.

…Nakamichi Kisei..?

That name rang a bell somewhere, it echoed through his mind. Hikaru stretched his neck as far as it could go to see the second player's name.

S…Sai?

His heart skipped a beat at the name.

So this was it! It's the game that earned him his first title! Hikaru's insides did a little dance upon this discovery. It's the game he told me about…about…

_It was the game he told me about…the day…_

Hikaru's spirits sank at the thought of that fateful day, almost making him turn away from looking at the game record, it was altogether too much guilt. But curiosity got the better of him, and he followed the numberings on the page, oblivious to the fact that he was standing right beside the owner of the book.

"…the connection on number 128 forced the black into defence on the left, determining the winning side…Hey, I thought he lost it at hand 112…now, that can't be right!" Hikaru subconsciously mused aloud at the explanation.

"Why is that?"

"Because," He continued matter-of-factly, "Hand number 112 was a forehand preparation of 124, which is essential for the connection at 128 to be made. But black can't attack it without putting his own land in danger, so--agh, I'm sorry." Hikaru quickly covered his mouth with a hand, realising he had been rambling on to a complete stranger.

It was the first time Hikaru noticed the person he was standing next to. The other boy didn't seem offended or annoyed in the least. He was about Hikaru's age, as the thirteen-year-old noticed, with green-tinged chin length straight hair and piercing aquamarine eyes.

"How do you know all this?" The stranger asked him, "It wasn't explained that way."

"Well…er…" Hikaru fumbled to think of a good explanation.

"Well…?"

"He told me."

"Who? Nakamichi-sensei?"

"No…the…eh…the other one."

The sea-green eyes studied him with narrowing intensity. _Oh no_, thought Hikaru, _did I just land myself into another mess?_

"…you mean Shindo Kisei?"

Hikaru gulped. _Yes, but do I really need to explain?_

"But that was eight years ago!"

_I know that! I know!_

"I think you're lying."

_…WHAT?_

"Hey! Watch it!" Angered, Hikaru drew up to his full height. "I'm not lying! He told me himself! Yeah, it was eight years ago, d'you have a problem with that?"

The green-haired youth was unruffled, but his eyes told a different story.

"Who are you?" He finally managed to pronounce.

"That's none of your business."

The other boy sighed and closed the book.

"I'm Touya Akira, what's your name?"

Hikaru blinked. Touya…that can't be the Touya of Touya _Meijin_, can it?

"You're related to Touya Meijin?" He asked in disbelief.

"He's my father." Touya Akira explained, as if that was the most obvious and mundane thing on earth.

Hikaru swallowed hard again. Here, standing in front of him, was the Meijin's son. No one in the Go world could possibly be in a more tight position…can they?

_Perhaps, it's alright to tell him who I am…_

"I'm…Shindo Hikaru."

He then mentally spanked himself for making that decision when the other boy's eyes widened at the name.

"So…you are related to Shindo Sai." (A/N: That sounded incredibly weird!)

Hikaru nodded, "He's my brother."

Touya Akira was stunned for a second by this piece of revelation. Ever since the tragedy, Akira had searched every new face in hopes of finding this person. Suspicion swam through his mind, around the sense of wanting to believe this boy that stood in front of him. But the knowledge of that game justified his identity.

"You have to come with me!" Without warning, the long-haired boy grabbed Hikaru by the wrists and dragged him to the opening gateways.

"Leggo of me! Where are you taking me?!" Hikaru protested loudly while trying to wiggle loose and adjust his position in being off-balance. But the grip on his wrist was firm.

"You'll see when we get there!" The Son of Meijin walked with ever-quickening pace. Out of the station they went, crossed a road opposite to it, and passed down a busy street. They were in a part of town Hikaru had never been to. Before he could take a closer look at the surroundings, Hikaru swerved to his right and was pulled up a series of stairs before arriving in front of a wooden-framed gliding door. The door automatically slid open as they approached it.

The bright light pierced Hikaru's eyes for a moment before his vision adjusted.

He was in a big room, there were a lot of tables and chairs, and people sat at them, bending over something on the tables.

"Where…am I?" He asked his guide, a little dazedly.

"In a Go salon, of course. My father's Go salon." Was the simple reply.

"W--Wait!" Hikaru snapped back into his senses, "You've brought me to a, a Go salon?!"

Touya Akira turned from the counter, looking a little nonplussed at the fuss Hikaru was making.

"Why, what's wrong?"

"Who's that, Akira-kun?" A lady at the counter asked the green-haired boy, looking straight at Hikaru.

"You wouldn't believe it, Ichikawa-san! He's Shindo Sai's brother!"

"So, you've finally found the rival you want!"

"I brought him here to play a game."

"W--what?!" Hikaru took a step back, "Play a game? Me?"

"Yes, you." Akira took step forward, grabbed and dragged him further into the room, towards an empty table. There, Akira settled himself on one side of the table, he took the neatly stacked containers from the Goban and opened them.

Hikaru shuddered at the sight of the black stones. Memories of a past flashed in front of his eyes like a nightmare.

_Cracked container…black shale…spill…blood…shale…blood…shale…_

"Douzo, why don't you sit down?"

_I…I can't play…_

_I don't deserve to play…_

"I…don't want to play."

"Don't be stupid. Of course you're going to play." The Son of Meijin was quite determined.

"I said I don't want to!" Hikaru raised his voice. _These people don't understand!_

"I HATE GO!"

Akira snapped his head up at the sound of that powerful word. He looked as if someone had dumped a tub of ice-cold water over his head.

"…W-why?"

Hikaru felt like tearing at his double-toned hair. "Look, Touya, forget it okay? Just…you think I can be as great as Sai, but I'm telling you, I. CAN'T. If you want a rival, you're barking up the wrong tree here. End of story. I'm getting out of this place before it drives me crazy. Forget it, just--" 

Without finishing his sentence, Hikaru turned and strode out of the salon without a single sideward glance. People looked up from their games and watched him storm off with interest.

"Who was that?"

"I thought Akira-kun brought him here."

"Leaving so quickly?"

Akira looked after the disappearing figure, unable to believe what he had just heard.

***************************************

**A/N:** Heck, you must be wondering when I'd get all the ranting done. I never intended for it to be angst! *bangs head against a wall* Angst is too frustrating to write. But it seems that I have no choice. Feel my pain, whatever I write turns to angst. It's not a good sign, since I'm not someone who feels depressed all day long. But thank goodness I haven't taken to tragedy…yet. Someday that monster might pounce on my conscious, and I'll need some serious medication then. Winter…death…angst…it all points to one thing…

Gomen nasai to those who want Fujiwara as the family last name, I personally find it awkward to hear Akira calling Hikaru 'Fujiwara'. So I stuck with Shindo. I changed Hikaru's personality quite a bit, considering what happened in the past. Practically, it's just the replicate of him when Sai disappeared, except it's in long term, which is a lot of torture if you ask me. How I love being evil. 

I shall bring the cheery and energetic Hika back someday…but don't quite know yet how it might all fit in. Hope you guys like Akira's appearance. I always seem to sense waves of cheers when Akira shows up, is that just me? Anyways, I'm planning for a lot of arguing in the future on this particular young prodigy's behalf, so stay tuned^^ In the next chapter I should hope that I get on with his past acquaintance with Sai…

Review now? I love reviewers, maybe not ones armed with flameguns, but I love anyone who gives me feedback. All reviews will be replied first thing every chapter to show my gratitude.

--

Sal (halcyon_clouds@hotmail.com)


	3. Chapter 2 Promises of the Past

This time it's butter cookies! Fresh out of the oven! *Holds out a tray*

**Shinigami Clara:** YOU HAVE DEFINITELY GONE HYPER! Please, drink some water and calm down. Now, now, don't play with guns, it's dangerous^_~ Thanks for the reviews!

**Regatto:** Thanks for coming back! Yes, the deal about Akira and Sai will be explained in this chapter! I know, I was being lazy with the last chappie, because it was three in the morning, man…my senses aren't quite working properly so the angsty-pangsty emotion was kinda numb^^;;; But this chapter will hold a good deal of angst! So, wash that big butter cookie down with it^^

**Shimizu**** Hitomi:** Ooo, Akira WILL get peeved off alright. You just go read that first sentence…anyways, he was too shocked from hearing Hikaru say such a thing to act at the moment. I find the Hikaru interesting too, because I still need to dig into his character a little. But this chapter is about Touya Akira^^ I know Sai being a title holder at 15 is really very bizarre, but if I don't pronounce him to be somewhat godlike Akira would never be so hot on Sai's (and his brother's) heels^^

**JMJV:** Am I doing that? Only giving out small portions of the story? I must be doing it subconsciously, since I already know what's going to happen I guess reading the chapter over doesn't have much effect on me^^;;; Argh, I know! To make up for that loss of emotional goodness I put a lot of effort into this chapter^^ Sorry if I keep doing cliff-hangers…but then, isn't the end of every chapter of an unfinished story a cliffie? I personally find it so^^;;; Oh man, I can see a sky full of angels now, just giving you an idea about THIS chapter…*wink*

**allyyang:** *sniff* the prologue was indeed sad, I don't blame people for blaming me^^;;; The reason you couldn't figure out why Akira knows about Sai is because I haven't told you about it yet! It will all be explained in this chapter^^

**LadyJessy:** I'm happy you found it good! Once again, the prologue was depressing, even for myself. Things should brighten up a bit now…You have theories about where this story goes? Heh heh, don't be afraid to share it^^

**jia:** I honestly hope I updated soon enough…I'm glad you like my fic^^ After all, a story is written for the sake of readers^^

**Talen:** This will go…well, you'd have to read on to know^^

**Urain:** Welcome back^^ Glad you like the bit about Akira. Well, here's a good bunch of it^^ Wasn't this update really soon?

**Lili-chan:** Glad you like the fic. You think my writing style is good? Gosh, I've never had that sort of compliment about my English before, thanks^^

**Following in Your Footsteps**

By Halcyon Clouds (A.K.A. Sal)

**Intro:** (Last time on _Following_: Hikaru meets Akira on a train and gets dragged to the Go Salon. Hikaru storms off after expressing that he hates Go.)

Chapter you've been waiting for…why does Akira get involved in all of this? Why is he so obsessed with Hikaru and Sai? It was because of something else that happened in the past…

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing more than the pixelated letters that manifest your screen.

**Chapter 2 -- Promises of the Past**

_That bastard._

Akira clenched his fist with growing fury as every second ticked past. However, his unflappable face showed no sign of the internal struggle. Learning Go required discipline, and it came easy for him.

_I…I thought…_

"…Akira," A deep firm voice snapped him back into reality.

Akira raised his head to look into the weathered face of his father, the Meijin was regarding his son with an air of sternness and a look that demanded an immediate explanation of some sort. Akira gulped, he could creep past just about anyone with him and his own thoughts, but his father was not one of these people.

"I--I'm sorry, otousan." The green-haired boy lowered his head in apology as his straightened himself in his kneeling position. "I was…lost in some thought."

"A good Go player never takes his concentration off the game."

"Yes otousan, I won't do it again." Akira silently cursed himself for disappointing his high-standard Go-playing Dad. There were things wiser to do.

Touya Koyo folded his arms across his chest, above the little tuft of fur across the middle of his bathrobe. Expressions not permeating through the heavily wrinkled features.

"There is no real point in continuing this game if you have other things troubling your mind." He said in a low, rumbling tone, the same casual fashion.

"I don't." Akira bit his lower lip at the lie.

Through the bangs in front of his eyes, Akira saw his father sigh and stand up. The Meijin knew perfectly well that it was a lie, but he didn't press on further about the issue. When Akira decides to hold his tongue about matters he doesn't want to discuss, you couldn't get it out of him no matter what. There was no point in pursuing. He simply left his son to face the unfinished game on the Goban in solitude.

The stones glinted their own protests.

Akira gritted his teeth. He had never felt so…disappointed, and…cheated in his life. 

_So, is this what I'm left to deal with?_ He thought bitterly.

***************************************

_You made a promise._

_You broke it._

_Was there…never…a promise…?_

***************************************

_8 years ago…_

Touya Akira, five years old, sat on the porch of his home. The sky that morning was of a bright shade of grey, the typical colour of winter skies. 

He watched the gates intently.

The cobbled walkway was deserted of any other being. Bamboo lining the curve of the path rustled in time with each breath of wind, a periodic '_tok!_' came from the water-timer originating somewhere from other branches of the estate. The air was cold and biting on bare feet, Akira drew his bathrobe tighter to his body and sneezed.

_Tok!_

The sound of footsteps approaching brought him to look up.

Two people entered from the gates. One of them he recognised as his father, a younger Meijin. Tall, majestic, and illuminated by an aura of power. In young Akira's eyes, it was those qualities about his father that he admired, and wished he could learn from. To him, there was first the Kami, but the second space below the Kami held _otou-sama_.

Who was the other person?

Akira had never seen him before. The stranger was young, a lot younger than the Meijin, but still a good deal older than himself. An atmosphere of elegance surrounded this person, an energy completely different to that of Touya Koyo, but not lacking in its intensity. The youngster had an uncanny amount of observation power in his short years, there was something else, he could tell but not distinguish, something more than the surface…something…_celestial_ about that person, perhaps?

"Akira, what are you doing out here?"

Akira blinked up at the looming figure of Touya Koyo.

"I was waiting for you, otousan."

"You'll catch a cold like this. Come on, let's get inside." The Meijin held out a hand to his son, and Akira grasped it with his own smaller version. They pulled open a sliding door and entered the warm interiors. The stranger followed in behind them.

Akira looked up at the older boy, his vision met by violet eyes, usually the eyes always told him some clue about the individual. But this one's didn't, dark and enigmatic, yet lucid like crystal, it said nothing.

"I haven't introduced you yet," The Meijin spoke, breaking the silence. "Shindo-kun, this is my son Akira." (A/N: Now THAT also sounded incredibly weird!)

"Konnichiwa." The older boy nodded his head at the child. His voice like lake water rippling under a gentle breeze. "I'm Shindo Sai. Yoroshiku."

Akira said nothing, but continued to look up at this person. Shindo Sai didn't seem a bit troubled under his inspection, he simply smiled.

"The Kenkyuukai won't be starting in another hour or so." Touya Koyo said, oblivious to his son's quietness. It wasn't unusual. "You took the trouble to come so early, how about a game before they arrive?"

"I'd be honoured." Shindo Sai bowed.

Akira raised his eyebrows. Who was this person important enough to be invited to the Kenkyuukai and a game by none other than Touya Meijin in person? He looked a bit older than Ashiwara-san, but definitely not past the age of twenty. Still, why is otousan so bothering to relate to a person so young?

They had already set up the Goban. Akira trotted over to watch.

"Onegaishimasu."

_No handicaps?_

The Meijin's son narrowed his eyes at the board vacant of any black stones. _Who is he?_

_Playing on equal terms with otousan? _

The youngster knew perfectly well of the pride his father holds. He'd feel insulted if an equal game was played against someone who's standards weren't quite up to his. The game had started, he riveted his attention from Shindo Sai to the board. _I'll find an answer here._ Akira thought decidedly.

***************************************

Young Akira had never seen such a game played in his life before. It was as if a wildfire broke out on the plains that is the Goban and the hearts of the players, for both were burning with such blazing passion and strength that made him almost cringe from the heat. Tension spout from every hand the two sides put forth, force pushing like straining a rubber band to the limits of its capacity. Some moves he understood, but many still only gradually came into the light with the progression of the game. Akira found himself trying to predict where the next stone will be sent, only to find his own guesses contradicted and reduced to superficial struggles as the players present their own brilliantly foreseen moves.

Akira felt, for a fleeting second, small and insignificant compared to the other two people in that room. It was an unfamiliar feeling, for three years it had been fact to him that he was the most advanced of players his age, and was due to become an intimidating force in the Go world later on. But that game showed him a glimpse of the vast, vast universe. And he was only reaching out a hand to the clear night sky, there was still a very long way to go before he could soar free. That sort feeling he had already felt towards his father ever since Go became a substantial part of his life, and now -- Akira turned to his father's opponent -- this person, he concluded firmly, also held an entire universe.

Oh, how he wished he could be like them, and have people like them recognise him as a worthy opponent! His father was a godlike figure, but this person was young. _If he can measure up to otousan at such an age, so can I!_

"I will play like you someday!" Akira blurted out amidst his thoughts, looking straight at Shindo Sai, as if that was the thing he was trying to express all along today.

Closing the lid on a container of white stones, the other boy smiled pleasantly as though he too, was expecting it all along.

Akira looked at him indignantly, ignoring a critical glance from his father. "Someday I'll make you and otousan see me as a rival!"

"Akira!" The Meijin boomed.

"Of course, and I'd like to play against you equally someday, too." Sai continued to smile at the green-haired boy, "I've heard so much about the talented Meijin's son."

"I've only been teaching him for three years, Shindo-kun." Touya Koyo spoke up, "He still has lots to learn."

But Akira wasn't listening to his father speak, he had only heard the comment Sai made, and his insides were quivering slightly.

Shindo Sai suddenly stopped smiling and looked a bit thoughtful, "How old are you, Touya-kun?"

"F-Five…" Akira, not expecting a question, stammered the answer.

"You know, I have a brother who's the same age as you." Sai told Akira in a small voice, although not small enough for the Meijin to be left out of the conversation. "He knows how to play Go too, although," He added with a chuckle. "not very diligent. Maybe one day you might meet him."

Akira wrinkled his nose, he wasn't too bothered about meeting more people of the same age and beating them effortlessly. What he cared about was what Shindo Sai had said a while earlier.

"You mean it?" He asked.

"Mean what?"

"That you'd like to play equally against me someday!" Akira explained, flustered, "Even…even otousan had never said that to me…"

"Akira, I will know when the right time comes." Touya Koyo reminded his son sternly.

"I did mean it." Sai replied, looking at Akira directly in the eye, "You will certainly be up against me on equal terms someday."

"I will." The youngster echoed, as if to hear his own voice clearly. "You mean it."

Sai nodded.

***************************************

He sat, thunderstruck, as they talked amongst themselves about the news.

"You've heard? Shindo Sai was killed in a traffic accident…"

"It was in the late news last night…"

"I'd say the Go world lost its brightest star ever."

"Touya-sensei isn't talking much, he doesn't look too well after hearing it."

"Akira-kun, is Touya-sensei al…Akira-kun, Akira-kun!"

Akira recovered from his shocked state with a jolt, to find Ashiwara looking down at him with concern on his face.

"Are you okay?" Ashiwara asked the young boy.

"Eh…uh." Akira managed a feeble reply, his mind was still elsewhere. The other boy took the answer but didn't look too convinced.

_Why?_

Akira had been told about death and its upshots long before. However, it had never seeped so vividly through his mind prior to this moment.

_Why?_

He had been asking himself that question over and over again, knowing his own conscious won't be able to provide the answers he needed so badly.

_Why did you go and die…_

It was not as if anyone had a choice to surrender to death or not, but…

_Why did you go and die before I had a chance to challenge you?_

Akira squinted his eyes tightly shut at his own, true thought. It pained him.

_You said it yourself too._

Anger bubbled out from within him.

_You broke your promise. No one can replace it now, no…_

Akira paused, memories of the meeting on that cold morning came flooding back afresh. There was something else Shindo Sai had told him…something he must've shoved to the back of his mind…

_He…has a brother?_

He recalled.

_My age?_

He felt the weight lift off his chest a little. A little spark of hope ignited in his downcast spirit.

_If…if I can find this person. Maybe, will he fulfil that promise?_

***************************************

_Fat chance of that happening._ Thought Akira of the present time angrily. The higher the hopes, the deeper the disappointment. Somewhere in him he felt immense disgust at what Shindo Hikaru, the brother of the phenomenal Go prodigy Shindo Sai, had said to him in the Go salon. Akira had been utterly shocked to hear it coming out of the mouth of someone he takes to…might…having the same amount of talent as Shindo Sai. He had been elated at the finding of, or rather, found by this person. Where was the Shindo Hikaru he met on the train, all-out and lecturing him about what really did happen in that title game?

_Maybe he didn't mean it, what he said._ Something in Akira's awareness stirred. _Or else why is he contradicting himself so badly?_

He furrowed his brows, lips pursed tightly. _Whether he meant it or not, he made us Go players all sound like we're crazy. He should feel ashamed to play Go._

A tingle went up his spine, oddly enough, it felt quite appropriate at the time.

_Maybe…he really is ashamed of playing Go…?_

_But, hell. WHY?_

***************************************

**A/N:** That was fast! So now you know Akira's story. What happens next will depend on me^_^

……I was thinking too much of Yuki from furuba and Mihara Oujirou from Angelic Layer!!! Don't blame me if you know what I mean…but my idea of that Sai is just like those characters!

Bleah, I didn't announce who won for that game between Sai and Touya Koyo because I don't want either to lose! But it would be too…dreary to force a tie, as I don't like those things anyways…so, the result is free to your interpretation.

This…might seem to some people as being slightly shounen-ai towards later chapters, I never planned for it to be, but you can think what you like and not mind my opinion.

Besides, anyone know of any good Hikago fics newly published lately? I'd love to read more, and make some fic recommendations in the next chapter…

Okay, here comes the prompting of reviews as always in the last sentences…The reason I prod myself to write until 3 in the morning is because I know people want to read it. So review if you would like to see more soon^^ 

--

Sal (halcyon_clouds@hotmail.com)

P.S. Young Akira in a bathrobe…KYAAA~~!! And also kawaii 12-year-old Ashiwara! (go check his age from manga vol.18^^)


	4. Chapter 3 The Open Wound

Reviewers are getting M&Ms Cookies today! Nice and colourful too^^

**Kleptomaniac Can Opener:** I didn't have your reply in the last chapter was because I uploaded that chapter before your review came in. I guess it didn't show up that soon :P. But I'm glad you came back! And yes, it was Hikaru's choice to not play Go because of his guilt. Hikaru's mother is rather protective of him, and that's my doing too^^; You are sharp, quite true, Sai broke the promise to both of them, and that'll have significance later on…Sadly, I don't think I'll let them duel in this fic. But I'll be sure to do it if I ever have an impulse to write a sequel^^

**JMJV:** First to review chapter 2! Touya Koyo's OOC? Hmmm, I suppose so, but I guess that was the sort of thing he's likely to say. I have to admit, he hasn't ever saw Akira as a rival in the series, nor did he do much praising of Akira either…so, can't blame the guy for being a bit desperate, now can we? Yup, I tried to make it similar in some ways to the original series, looks like you are a very sharp reader^^

**Shinigami Clara:** Calm down Clara-chan! And by the holy name of Go I do NOT need a bomb shelter, since the only person who will throw bombs at me is you, and I'm liable to throw them back…Anyways, how is 'Miko's powers' going? I need more stuff to beta to keep my senses sharp^^

**Regatto:** Yup, they sure will confront each other two more times before this finishes^^ But…I'm being evil here, I'm actually not planning for them to play a game. You'll have to wait for a sequel, if there is one^^;

**Shimizu**** Hitomi: **I know, it sucks that in the original series Sai and Akira never got to meet except over a Goban. But then, if they did, what will become of poor Hikaru? Anyways, you found that line amusing? ^^ I thought it might just be what Akira usually thinks of people his age…

BTW, thanks for the explanation of what uke/seme is…*twitch* I'm not into yaoi so I really wouldn't know…^_^; But I always thought Hikaru was supposed to be the girly one for some reason.

**allyyang:** So everything, well, nearly everything is in the light now. But…I not deciding to have them play a game in this fic ^^;;;

**jasper tears:** Wow, you gave two reviews^^ Thanks! And thank you for the praise too, that's why I'm handing out cookies here^^ Wow, you find my fic realistic? Well, that was what I tried to do, but the big underlying fact that it's not so realistic is me making Sai win titles at the age of 15. That's not exactly humanly possible^^;;; Hikaru-kun and Akira-kun are in-character too? Wow, I was never good at characterisation so that's a big compliment, thanks^^ I'm happy you enjoyed this fic, and thanks for adding it to favs too^^

**jia:** Welcome back! Looks like everyone's happy for such a quick update. Once again…I don't think I'll be making them two play a game during the course of this fic. Because it will mainly be about getting Hikaru to play again, and when that is achieved, the story will end.

**LadyJessy:** It was a coffee break from the action. But the information provided will prove to be fundamental in the future and in the finale, so that can't be overlooked^^

**urain:** I need to sort out my priorities since homework is piling up and I'm still writing until 3 in the morning^^; But, yeah, otherwise, if readers are happy, I'm happy. You like the part about Sai/Meijin game? That was fun to write^^

**Leng Leng:** Yay! The more people like my fic, the happier I am^^ Okay, that sounded a bit narcissistic…humdeedum…  

**firedraygon97:** One of the reasons I let the prologue end abruptly is because I don't want to go into detail of, ahem, how Sai looked like…I cried so hard when I was watching the original series at the part when he left…Yup, Sai is one of my favs too.

**SakuyaChan:** You're welcome, I like giving comments to people on improving their writing…although I myself have not yet perfected the art of writing. But I do try (yes I do!). You can improve by trying too. (Hey, that rhymes^^;)

**laalaa:** Thank you for your review^^ I will try to make this fic as good as it can be _.

**Mysterious Anonymous Reviewer (yes, you^^): ** I updated! I hope I can update sooner next time nee…

Aaaaand, special thanks to **Murinae**-san for the general encouragement^^

**Following in Your Footsteps**

By Halcyon Clouds (A.K.A. Sal)

**Intro:** (Last time on _Following_: We learned Akira's side of the story…)

Er, sorry for the late update, I was distracted by the prospect of becoming a CG artist, or otherwise indulging myself in leisure…I think my writing's a bit rusted in this time, so please put up with it. Now, there are some serious emotional clashes in this chapter, earplugs are recommended ^_^;

**Disclaimer: **Mweh. If I own them why would I be here?

**Chapter 3 -- The Open Wound**

Hikaru awoke with a jolt.

He stared blankly at nothing in particular for a few seconds, it was as if he'd never been asleep in the first place. His room was illuminated with a soft glow from the silver beams of moonlight, peaceful in a way that seemed almost otherworldly. At times he had wished that this sort of peace could last forever, warm, without plunging into the cold waters of reality. Reality was chilling wind on bare skin.

Hikaru sat up, he didn't feel like falling asleep anymore, time at night seems to pass slower when you stay awake most of the time and do nothing. He'd had several past experiences with sleepless nights, not that he enjoys them. It provided some form of salvation, not having to be haunted involuntarily was something to be thankful towards. Night is different from darkness; there is light, and sounds, things to remind people of their conscious self.

_Had I really meant what I said?_ Hikaru contemplated, breaking the silence of his mind. A part of him shivered in the guilt.

He wondered about his own behaviour. He had been buying Weekly Go for years now, cutting out Kifus and studying them. He still couldn't resist a glance at every sign of the game. It was like looking at expensive artefacts in a museum, so close to being able to touch, but not being allowed to touch, only admiring from a distance.

He didn't know what to make of the relationship of the game and himself. Somewhere inside of him felt the dire need to hold it close to him, but never too close. The meaning of Go, the very essence of the meaning it holds for Shindo Hikaru, along with the past that concerns it and him...he was unworthy of it all.

_Why am I doing what I am doing?_

***************************************

A certain Meijin observed his son through solemn eyes. Akira was doing a fantastic job of hiding whatever he has to hide, smiling as he chatted with Akiko at the breakfast table, no behaviour out of the ordinary, even Akiko herself did not notice in the slightest.

But the Meijin knows his son, perhaps the only person who could fully understand Touya Akira, he even wondered sometimes if he knew Akira better than the boy knows of himself. There was a change, definitely, small but for certain. Something was troubling his son, perhaps the same thing that lead the boy to divert attention off the Goban the other day; something he was trained to seldom, if not at all, bring about.

Akira couldn't shake the image off his mind. Like some irksome fly, it kept coming back, circumnavigating his train of thought while buzzing in an exceptionally irritating way. It was all he could do not to start batting at the bangs that dropped over his eyes. It was worth being thankful for the fact that he was not a talkative sort, rarely speaking unless when spoken to. People could hardly observe the difference between normal Akira and troubled Akira. 

As much as he hated to admit it, he wanted to see that person again…to ask questions, to get answers, to know more…

Feeling his father's glance fall on him , the green-haired boy poked at his rice and had a bite. Akira prayed that his Meijin father would keep any questions he had to himself for the time being. 

"The main Pro exams start next week, how are you doing preparing?" The Meijin calmly questioned.

Akira breathed a small sigh of relief. "I'm alright, otou-san, I can handle it by myself."

"Koyo, I think Akira-san is well prepared, you nor I need to worry about him." Akiko smiled and remarked.

"No, indeed." Touya Koyo closed his eyes and laid down the utensils.

The boy felt the odd stress in his father's voice, his fingers tightened uncomfortably around the chopsticks.

"I'm full. I'm going to go study some kifus in the next room." Akira excused himself as he go up and left, eager to have some private space.

Akiko looked after her son's disappearing figure.

"See?" She chuckled as she turned back to her husband, "He's very diligent. Akira knows what he must do."

"I hope so." Replied the Meijin.

***************************************

_I wouldn't miss it for my life!_

That was what he thought as he departed his house nearly an hour before the event started. Hikaru had been looking forward to it all week. Not only would there be Go pros to play a public, on-the-fly explanations game. They would be examining the kifus of the greatest Go prodigy ever to have lived, in memoriam of Sai, his brother.

_No one would recognise me, and Touya Akira would be in a Pro exam game. I'll be long gone before he even finished his game_. Hikaru grinned at his perfect plan. At first he was reluctant to appear in a place where the concentration of the people who knew his brother was one hundred out of one hundred percent, but the exhilarating prospect of knowing more about the Go his brother played outweighed his fear. With that in mind, he quickened his steps, almost to a point of sprinting when he arrived at the Go Institute.

The room was well lit and spacious, rows of chairs had already been set up in front of the stage, where two great metallic boards stood with a tray of black and white magnets at its side. There were a few people before him who were already seated in the hall, some teenagers who looked like they were Insei congregated and chatted amongst themselves in a corner. Hikaru stole a glance at them.

"…mou, I thought I was going to pass the prelims this year, my first game was against Touya Akira. It was equivalent to chucking that game away on purpose!" A girl complained of her misfortune.

"But see on the bright side, at least we get to watch the event while they have their games." Her companion reassured her.

"Yeah, I guess." She smiled, "I've always wanted to have a more complete idea of how Shindo Sai played. To think of it! He already had a title the age I was two years ago!"

Hikaru listened to their conversation. He felt proud to be Sai's brother, sometimes he really did. He may never fully understand what kind of place people from the Go world such as these Insei held for his brother in their heart. But he will never forget who Sai meant to him.

"…pity he died so young."

An icy knife drove through him somewhere from the darkness.

***************************************

Contrary to the people around him who were breathing deeply, had fists clenched, brows furrowed, and some even perspiring with anxiety, Touya Akira sat as cool as an ice cube amongst the others qualified for the main Pro exams. Waiting patiently for the supervisors to come in with the drawing box and charts. The long and heated Pro exams had finally commenced. 

A boy with wild brown hair beside Akira squirmed uneasily in his seat and cracked his knuckles.

"Tche. Those idiots. Why can't they pick a better time than this?" He muttered angrily under his breath.

"What's wrong, Waya?" A younger boy with a plump face looked up and asked.

"Dammit, the Go event today! I want to watch it so badly! But those bakas scheduled it to clash with the first Pro exam!"

_Oh yeah._ Thought Akira. _There's an event today, there was a note on the notice board._

"I heard they're examining Shindo Sai's kifus! Argh! I'm missing out big time!" The boy named Waya kept on grumbling.

The mention of the name snapped Akira right up.

"What? They're going to be studying Shindo Kisei's kifus?" Akira couldn't help but interrupt. The chubby boy nodded.

"Yeah. But you probably don't need to be studying more than you already know." The brown-haired boy remarked sarcastically.

Ignoring the boy named Waya, Akira asked. "When is this held until?"

"They'll be finished explaining the kifus by lunchtime, all that's left will be the game and refreshments." Waya's friend replied.

Akira stared at the clock, games normally start at ten am sharp, but since today there would be drawings and management to be getting through, the time would be shifted back an hour or so, which means by the time lunch comes at one, all he would see of the event was the dropping of curtains.

He was sure, something inside him tells him very certainly, that a person would be there. Wherever Shindo Sai might be mentioned, Shindo Hikaru will be there. 

He had less than two hours to finish the game. Touya Akira was determined to do exactly so.

***************************************

Hikaru listened with full attention to the Pro talking about Sai's games, and enjoyed every minute, every bit of detail about it. Sai had a different style to all the other Pros whose kifus he had studied. There was always an underlying meaning to every step he took, even if the hand looked lacking in depth when first played. It was only when later on in the game did the opponents realise what a ultimately ingenious hand it was, did they realise never to judge the person sitting across from them too lightly, and did they realise that it was already too late to recover their lost territory.

Hikaru stepped out of the hall quietly after the kifu explanations. He had seen what he had come to see. It was half-past-twelve, the people taking the exam should be having their lunch break any minute now, he needs to escape quick, before Touya Akira sees him here.

He stuck his head around a corner of the lobby, there was no one in sight, looks like the examinees haven't finished the first half of their game yet. Twice checking that the coast was clear, Hikaru made a quick beeline for the main doors.

Then he heard footsteps behind him.

"Shindo Hikaru, I knew you'd be here." A familiar voice.

_Oh SHIIIITTT!!_

_How the hell did he get out so early? And how the hell did he know that I'd come?_ The questions surrounded Hikaru's mind as he fled as fast as he can, with the Meijin's son in hot pursuit. _Oh shit! I don't want to be facing him now!_

He stole a sideward glance back, the Meijin's son was persistent. Even though Akira was considerably far behind, Hikaru was not sure if he can keep this chase going any longer.

_If I just run, I'd be running away for the rest of my life. _Hikaru thought. _I'll just have to tell him to lay off me._

Akira went anaerobic almost the moment the chase started, years of sedentary Goban training wasn't doing much to improve his speed and stamina, plus the effort made to shout "SHINDOOO!" at regular intervals was running him fast out of oxygen. As the distance between them grew wider and wider, his lungs were failing him, and he was on the verge of giving up.

_But, if I give up now, I might never see him again._

_I might never get the answers I want._

_I'll regret it for my life._

Akira clenched his teeth and picked up speed. The boy in front of him was slowing down from tire as well. He was closing in…when close enough, he reached out his hand and grabbed the other boy's arm, holding on just as tight as the time he dragged Hikaru to the Go salon. The green-haired boy stopped and panted heavily, his hand maintaining a firm grasp. The other boy seemed to have no will to run anymore, Shindo Hikaru simply stood there, not fighting back or straining to escape.

"Shindo…I thought you said you hated Go." Akira calmly initiated the conversation when both of them had gained their breath from the run.

"What's with that?" The other boy crossed his arms indignantly.

"Answer me! Why is it that what you say isn't what you do?" Akira demanded loudly.

"Why should I?" Hikaru snapped, "It's none of your business!"

"You are such an insult to the Go-playing population!"

"Now why the hell am I an insult if I don't play Go?"

"Because your brother was one of the best Go players of his time…or ever, for that matter! How can you say you hate the game he loved the most?" Akira yelled, now green in the face to match his hair and eyes.

"I'm not him! I'm not Sai! I go by my own ways!" Hikaru countered, just as fiercely.

"The ways of a hypocrite? You say you hate Go, but why were you at the Go Institute, huh?"

"I…I…"

"And why did you come to lecture me about Shindo Kisei's game on the train when you don't even like it?"

"I…that's got nothing to do with me being in there!"

"You say you hate Go, you refused to play against me, but you show up at a Go event, you even first met me over a kifu! Stop contradicting yourself! Why can't you just _play_ Go for heaven's sake? What is there so humiliating to _you_ about it? It's just crazy, what you're doing…"

"Fine! I'm crazy alright! I was crazy all along and will be crazy for the rest of my life!"

Akira took a breath to calm himself down, Hikaru was going red with anger.

"Look, I don't mean that you are crazy or anything. But if you can just tell me why is it that you are doing crazy things!?"

"Why is it that you have to know!?"

"…because I want you to play Go! I bet everyone wants you to play! You're Shindo Sai's brother!"

Akira thought he saw a fleeting look of pain in the other boy's eyes.

"I…I'm saying it once more, I will not play Go." Hikaru turned away and replied in a smaller voice.

"…you're a disgrace to your brother's legacy. If you don't like the game then that's fair enough, but from what I can see, you're obsessed by it in every way. I just don't understand, you don't have any reason to be ashamed of playing Go."

"No reason?" Hikaru repeated, his voice trembling, "NO REASON?! You have NO idea, absolutely NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST! What right do you have to say so?!"

Akira stumbled back a step at this sudden outburst.

"You know why he died?" Hikaru continued to shout, causing passer-bys to stare at them, "You know _how_ he died? It was because of me! ME! If it weren't for me, he never would have been hit by that truck, if it weren't for me, he would still be alive, happily playing Go at this very moment! How can I touch that game!? You tell me, HOW CAN I?! OW!"

"So-sorry." Akira stared at Hikaru, not realising that he was squeezing the other boy's arm so hard that his own knuckles were turning white. "…He…you…what?"

"My brother died to save me from the truck, he died because of me, because I am an idiot, A BID DAMN IDIOT!" Hikaru wrenched his arm free to face the Meijin's son squarely. "If I only hadn't run, if I only hadn't been so freaking stupid he would still be alive! It was my fault he died, is that clear enough for you?!"

It was certainly clear enough. Everything made sense now, everything made such horrible sense. 

Akira stood in total shock. No one had ever relayed that piece of information to him. He felt like he was suddenly plunged into confusion, while what he heard was as concise and easily understood as it can be. It was as if every scaffolding that was holding up what remained in his beliefs had all decided to shatter and crumple at that second. He couldn't bear to face the truth, couldn't bear to face this person anymore.

Akira turned slowly, his back on Hikaru, and walked away with not a backward glance or shortening in pace.

***************************************

**A/N:** Aw, I know I'm evil to leave a cliff-hanger there again! ごめんね! Can't help myself, really. Behold the sadistic authoress.

Anyways, now Akira doesn't know what to make of Hikaru, whether to hate him for being the cause of Sai's death, or to forgive him for what he'd done. I feel sorry for the boy, but I feel more sorry for Hikaru, seems like he'll just have to live with more pain until I update again…*sniff*

I think there'll be two or three more chapters until this finishes, I don't want to make it too long because then it'll just be droning. (oh wait, don't I do that in every chapter? Silly me.)

One more thing before I poke people for reviews, I draw anime computer graphics, if you have time please go check it out ne (I draw Hikago fanart too!! Does that ring a bell?). The url is halcyon-clouds dot deviantart dot com.

Anyways, if you would like to see this fic over and done with soon please review and remind me on what you need to know.

--

Sal (halcyon_clouds@hotmail.com)

P.S. On an extra note, I just suddenly realised that you can't force ties on equal games, regarding the A/N on the last chapter. Hear hear, this is coming from someone like me who actually plays the game, shows you just how daft I can be…


	5. Chapter 4 A Piece of your mind?

**Following in Your Footsteps**

By Halcyon Clouds (A.K.A. Sal)

**Intro:** (Last time on _Following_: Akira, upon discovering the truth behind the accident, turns away from Hikaru.)

Due to the lack of sleep I feel very inclined to not write, but I can't do that.

This is a boring chapter, at least I think so. Just layer upon layer upon layer of angsty thoughts. But there is some plot development…and it's mainly focused on one new character this time.

There has been some confusion. This is the chapter BEFORE the chapter called "Following in your footsteps". Now it's in the right order. The story is COMPLETE.

**Disclaimer: **I'm out of creative things to say. I don't own Hikago.

**Chapter 4 -- A piece of your mind?**

A woman with dark hair tied into a bun set a pan on the stove and poured in a little oil. From her slick actions one could tell she was a skilled housewife, but no one could tell she had a troubled mind of her own. For a mother's troubles were always overlooked.

Her only remaining son was not back from the "arcade". For the past 8 years he had been a reclusive child, often locking himself up in his room and reluctant to show his face to the family, which mainly consisted only of him and her. Her husband was always away on business trips, he never got to bond well with his son before leaving for weeks on end. Mother's instinct told her it was not a healthy family relationship, Hikaru, her son, shirked often from her, avoiding eye contact and heart-to-heart talks. She knew what was bothering him, for whole 8 years she knew it tortured him, but there was nothing she could do. She had long since gotten over the incident, as an adult, as a guardian, she could not show weakness to the weak, and to the one she must protect.

Speaking of which, he was still not back. The mother was getting anxious… with a deft dig with the cooking paddle, she made up her mind to seriously talk to him at the dinner table tonight.

* * *

_Touya…you…everyone…they would not forgive me…_

Burdened with his thoughts, Hikaru wandered aimlessly for a while on the streets, the afternoon was getting late, yet he still could not bring himself out of his own destructive thoughts. How he wished for redemption, for someone who would understand him… But people like him, who took away a life of such brilliance, was not worthy of such salvation. The look on Akira's face still stung like a slap across the face, that look embodied the pain, everything and more than what Hikaru could condemn himself for.

_Am I not allowed even a sliver of salvation?_

He found himself heading towards the only place where he could reflect on himself in peace and quiet. He stood at the doorway to his home in the slightly arching sun of late afternoon. Bracing himself for the lecture that was about to be launched, Hikaru pushed open the door and walked in.

* * *

To his utter surprise, his mother said nothing as he quietly toed through the doorway to the kitchen, she could usually tell when he was back and trying to sneak his way upstairs, usually giving him heck for coming back late, not calling and such. 

"Hikaru, it's dinnertime, I want you to stay at the table today."

_It's worse than I thought._ The brief moment of relief was shattered.

"What is it?" Hikaru replied irately, turning towards his mother.

"I think we need to talk…you've been so locked away for the past years, I feel like I don't even know my own son anymore." The housewife took a hot pot from the stove and placed it onto a mat on the dinner table. "Why don't you sit down, we never had a good mother-to-son talk…"

"I'm not hungry, and I don't feel like talking." Hikaru mumbled, turning away.

"Hikaru…" suddenly his mother's voice sounded extremely weary and small. He didn't turn around to face her, nor did he move to go up to his room.

"Why is it still troubling you, Hikaru?" The weary woman got straight to her point. "I've already accepted that which has happened, you shouldn't-"

"No, you don't understand." The young boy cut her off. "I really don't want to talk about this… you know I don't want to."

"But it's not your fault! How many times must I tell you, why will you not forgive yourself?" The mother shouted out of desperation, "If it was Sai, he would have forgiven you a long time ago… Hikaru, you are still my son and I love you, I don't want to lose another family member. Please, just, let the past go and live for the future…"

"I can't! How can I let it go? Me being young and stupid… it's… Sai was your favourite, I know that! Why can't you leave me alone? I never asked for you to care about me…" Hikaru blurted out, back still on his mother, but tears of frustration flowed down his face. He didn't deserve anything like this, he will not allow himself to indulge in the pity of others… Biting his lower lip, he ran up the stairs and slammed the door to his room behind him.

Below, at the dining table, a mother leaned her forehead on a hand. In the stove, the ramen emitted a delicious waft that no one had the mind to enjoy.

* * *

The green-haired young Go player also had a myriad of thoughts on his mind. He did not understand why he walked away from Shindo Hikaru, only knowing that something in his heart twitched at the thought of that unruly hypocrite. It was not his hypocrisy that prompted him into such a move… he understood the reason behind Sai's death, the person to be his rival was the one at fault. Yet Akira cannot explain why he acted so cruelly. The last look he gave Hikaru was one of hatred, blame, and disappointment. The lingering image of Hikaru was one of pain, regret, and beseeching. 

When he got home, the Meijin was not around. Only his mother, she smiled at him, set down a cup of green tea and inquired about his match.

"I won." Akira replied curtly and sipped his tea.

"Just as I expected." Akiko gave a small shake of the head as she sat herself down at the table with her own drink.

"Say, Akira-san, you've grown up so much. So full of the seriousness your father possess in copious amounts." She chuckled softly, "not my little boy anymore."

Akira was somehow embarrassed, or it was the hot tea that was making him feel a bit warm.

"You know, you can still share your problems with okaasan. Anything at all. Your father was never good at those kind of talk."

This was true, since his father was never very concerned about anything other than Go.

"Well." Akira fidgeted a bit uneasily. "It's a bit of a general question… but should anyone ever condemn a person for causing the death of another?"

"I never knew you pondered these things." Akiko sighed at the young and reserved teen. "If you want me to give an opinion on that, I'd ask if the cause was intentional or not."

"What if it wasn't?" Akira thought, surely, Shindo Hikaru wouldn't have meant for it to happen.

"I guess, no."

His mother's answer startled him a little. Akira looked up from his tea.

"If it was an accident, no one can be blamed. It's only fate that it should happen."

"Why is that? Isn't the person who caused the accident at fault?"

"Maybe," The short-haired woman swirled and drank the last of her tea, "But what's happened has already happened, and nothing can turn back time. There is always a cause, a reason, and it's always better to forgive." With these last words, she patted her son on the back, stood up and went into the kitchen.

Akira sat very still as his mother's words seeped into him.

_It's better to forgive… Perhaps I was a little unfair and rash at my judgement back there. If there is a reason for forgiveness, I don't see why not...

* * *

_

It was 2:30 am, Hikaru lay wide awake on the mattress.

He had been awake ever since he came home from the Ki-in. In all this time, he thought about nothing in particular, yet he cannot have peach in his mind. He always felt, for 8 years, that he must wait for something, must never stop serving the life sentence he put on himself. Every word, every look, even from his parents, he could not meet their eyes out of fear, fear of rejection. Yet rejection is what he seeks, what he feels he truly deserves.

Hikaru can no longer stand to lie there thinking about nothing. There was only one place where he could feel the presence of Sai, where he would feel both happiness and sadness at the same time.

He silently slipped out from his room, and walked to the far end of the corridor.

The closed door.

Hikaru turned the knob soundlessly, and entered the room.

It was an empty room, almost desolate except for the goban in the middle of the room, and 2 tubs of stones. The transparent curtains fluttered in the night breeze, and an ethereal blue glow filled the room. In an almost trance-like state. Hikaru shuffled towards the Goban and sat down in front of it. Stretching out a hand, he allow himself to feel the hard cool wood of the board through a thin layer of dust. The etchings were in some places worn flat, and he remembered well the days he and Sai used to spend hours sitting together, contemplating over this very same wooden table, and laughing, and talking…

And feel the tears trickle down his face.

* * *

Akira rang the doorbell, he knitted his fingers together nervously, not know what to expect and what to say as he heard footsteps within the house. 

A middle-aged woman answered the door, someone he took to be Shindo's mother.

"Hello, I am looking for Shindo Hikaru, is he in?" Akira inquired politely.

"Hikaru went out this morning," The woman replied a little wearily, "he hasn't been back since, and I don't know where he is…would you like to come in for a while?"

"Sorry for intruding." Akira apologised as he stepped into the house.

"Don't worry about it." Hikaru's mother slipped into the kitchen, "Would you care for some tea?"

"That would be wonderful." Akira agreed, thinking how similar their mothers are in nature. Hikaru's mother set down a cup for him and invited him to sit on the sofa.

"May I ask what business you have with Hikaru?" The housewife questioned, although she was formal with him, her tone does not conceal her concern about Hikaru.

"I came to…" Akira wondered how he should express this to another one of Sai's family members.

"Shindo had informed me himself that…he was to blame for Shindo Sai's death. To tell the truth, I am very concerned about Shindo Sai…so I came to find out more about this matter. I do not think Shindo is to blame for this, yet… I am not here to insult or bother but if this is sensitive…" Akira decided to go straight to the point, but found himself at a loss for words.

"I wouldn't dream that you came to bother us," Hikaru's mother answered the teen, easing his apparent uncomfort. "But Hikaru… that boy has shut his heart away for many years. He will not even open up to me."

"What exactly happened, Shindo-san?"

The brown-haired woman gave Akira a weak smile. "I wouldn't normally talk about it, but seeing that you genuinely care…"

"Hikaru was always close to Sai, ever since he was a toddler, he'd be following Sai wherever he went. I didn't know much about Go, except that Sai was the star of our family, he was earning his own wages and prestige. Because of his games, Sai must always go far away, just like my husband. As Hikaru grew older, Sai became busier, and the time he spent at home became scarce. Hikaru soon noticed, and wouldn't let Sai leave once he comes home. That boy really did love and look up to his brother…"

Akira sat quietly hearing the story, he felt a little sorry for the brothers, yet he himself could not tell which was more important to himself, Go or family.

"Then one day, when I was out, Sai came back home, he apparently promised to Hikaru he'd stay or something like that. Hikaru was all ecstatic when I arrived home. But I picked up a letter the day before, apparently it was urgent, and Sai had to take back his promise. Hikaru was young and rash, he was devastated. If you lie to a young child, they would become devastated, and do things we never expect… Hikaru ran away, Sai chased after him……and…half an hour later, I got a phone call…" The mother clutched a hand to her mouth, unable to speak any more.

"Are you alright, Shindo-san?" Akira asked, alarmed.

"Yes, yes. I'm quite alright, I thought I've already gotten over this, ha, ha." Hikaru's mother laughed nervously, but it was full of bitterness. "If I don't become strong for Hikaru, no one will. But that boy keeps on blaming himself. He sealed away his desire to be loved… but all I want him to know is that I care for him, because he is my son too… I do not, and never blamed him for Sai's death."

Akira was a little shocked, but also moved from this. The benevolence of this woman's thoughts washed over him like an antidote, in his heart, he felt like he also wanted Shindo to understand, to let go of his long-held troubles. He now comprehended his mother's words, if there is a cause, there is a reason to forgive.

"I respect your love for them, Shindo-san." Akira said in an attempt to comfort Hikaru's mother. "I think I need to talk to Shindo myself, he needs to listen to some sense, he needs to know that you care for him."

Wiping away a tear, the mother smiled, with a little less melancholy. "You're an understanding child, er…"

"Touya Akira."

"Akira-kun," She repeated, "well, there is one place where you can look for Hikaru, if you go out the house, around the back, not far, there is a small playground. He would always go there when he needs to be alone."

"Thank you Shindo-san." Akira stood up, bowed, and promptly headed for the door.

"No, thank you for listening, I appreciate your sincerity, Akira-kun." The housewife stood at the door and saw the green-haired youth off.

* * *

After some searching, Akira found the park. It was actually a quaint little playground, in the late afternoon, the children have all gone home. He scanned the slide, playhouse, sandbox. Then his eyes rested on a figure sitting motionless on a swing at the far corner of the playground. It was Shindo Hikaru. 

Gathering his thoughts, Akira walked towards the boy on the swing.

* * *

**A/N:** Well this is the "missing" chapter that I said I'd write someday. If you read it hopefully it will fill you in on how the minds of people work in this fic, since it's so different from the original series. Hope you enjoyed the presence of this fic in the Hikago section. This is really the end, no more input from me on this story. Thank you and see you in other stories if I'm not lazy Hope you like Ragnarok Online/Digimon related fics too. 

On a side note (things about to be said is not suitable for children), I by chance came across some pornographic material featuring Hikaru and Akira's moms with huge jugs, disturbing, I must say… . Please pretend I didn't just type that, I needed to get it out of my system.

--

Sal


	6. Chapter 5 Following In Your Footsteps

Alright, I might as well upload this chapter since you don't really need chapter 4 to understand how it ends… I wrote this before I wrote chapter 4.

I deeply apologize for taking soooo long to update, since I became interested in other things and life just got a bit complicated due to the fact I am in university now.

**This IS the VERY LAST CHAPTER. Hope you enjoyed my fic so far and will enjoy this chapter. Please support more of my other fics in the future  
**

**Following in Your Footsteps**

By Halcyon Clouds (A.K.A. Sal)

**Intro:** (Last time on _Following_: We peek into the thoughts of Akira and Hikaru. Akira forgave Hikaru, but Hikaru slips further into agony…)

Blows horns THIS IS THE END END END! Be warned that this chapter will contain a lot of dialogue and is heart-rending.

**Disclaimer: **Blah. Blah. Blah. You know the words.

**Chapter 5 -- Following in Your Footsteps (you SO unexpected that title, heh.)**

Hikaru's eyes darkened and glazed over. He turned his head back to the ground, hair hiding his face and expression, fingers tightened on the chain.

"What do you want?" He asked in a cold voice.

Akira shifted his feet, not knowing where to start. He wasn't even sure whether the person in front of him had the right mind to listen at all. It was as if an invisible barrier had formed around Shindo, he was blind, deaf, and unfeeling towards what was around him. There was a moment -- a long moment -- of deathly silence between them, before Akira decided that it was time, and no later should it be, to start saying something.

"Shindo…listen, erm…" He commenced, having an awkward feeling as if he was talking to an inanimate object. "I came to apologise…and to tell you something."

A small, slightly hysterical laugh came from the boy sitting on the swing. Akira felt a freezing chill in the pit of his stomach, he had never heard anything sound so agonizing in his life, it wasn't the least bit funny.

"What is there to apologise for? To be sorry that I killed my own brother?" Hikaru's voice was dangerously calm, as if pain and other sentiments can no longer hurt him, he had been through the limit of harm they can do.

"No! You didn't kill him!" Akira strived to explain, but didn't find his own voice convincing at all. "It was an accident! It wasn't anyone's fault!"

The other boy didn't respond, he simply stared at the ground, or more likely, nothing at all.

Akira suddenly felt helpless, helpless against someone who had been wounded by the past, then wounded in the present by the most uncomprehending action, not to mention the Son of Meijin executed the action himself. If everything he did was to have no effect whatsoever, wouldn't it be better to give up?

_No_. Akira thought firmly. _No, no, I have to try…this is for Shindo Sai, not myself…and I do owe him an apology._

He had to try, he was afraid, afraid at what people can do to prevent themselves from getting wounded in the future…

"Look, you have to listen to me!" He shouted to the immobile figure on the swing, desperate, "I'm sorry for walking away like that, it was just too much to handle at the time…I--I don't think it's your fault that Shindo Sai died. But--" He stopped abruptly, not knowing what to say next.

"But what? I've got to live with the fact that I was the cause of his death, and touch his favourite game with my own hands?" Said the indifferent voice from beneath blonde bangs.

"Well…yes. But, no!" Akira stuttered for the right words, "He wanted you to play Go! Because Go was what he lived for! And, and he want you to play…too…"

It was followed by another short laugh, Akira felt his insides lurch. _Well, at least he's listening…that's a good sign._

"Ha, let's see him think that when I was the one who took it all away." There was a certain amount of menace and sarcasm newly present in the reply, almost stinging in the warm air.

"How many times do I have to tell you that YOU--DID--NOT--KILL--SHINDO SAI!" Akira frustratingly grabbed a chain of the swing and shook it hard. His voice escalating to a frantic scream. _Kami, tell me, how the hell can I get that message through him?_ "STOP BLAMING YOURSELF FOR SOMETHING YOU DIDN'T DO! NO ONE'S BLAMING YOU, DAMN IT!"

Hikaru simply sat there, allowing himself to be jerked around, but made no move to reply. His head remain bowed to the earth.

Akira panted from the effort, something inside him just wanted to give up and leave this hopeless soul to fend for itself. But he inwardly felt ashamed at such a thought. _This IS my business, I've got to help him._

"No one's blaming you." He repeated, striving to keep his voice calm and patient. "I've talked to your mother, all she wants is for you to be home safely every night. She doesn't want you to feel guilty…"

"Her favourite son was Sai, he died because of me. How can _you_ tell me she doesn't?" Hikaru's voice trembled slightly, but Akira did not fail to catch the sharp reference to himself in the sentence. He sighed. It was true, being the outsider, he doesn't understand at all. At the same time he tried hard to suppress the urge to use physical force and knock some sense into the other boy's head.

"You think people haven't tried to talk to me before?" Hikaru spoke again, his tone still edged with a biting accent. "Why I don't play Go? Why I don't become a goddamn prodigy and all that crap!" His voice became louder, bitter and bottled up with anger, "They want me to play that, that _game_ because they think I can be famous like my brother! All anyone ever want from me is Sai Sai Sai! And what can I say to it? As if I really do want to spread that, oh, insignificant piece of information about how he died to all four corners of the earth!"

Akira was taken aback by this sudden outburst of emotion, but he understood. He had felt that sort of pressure on himself, people hoping he'd inherit the Meijin from his father, to dominate the Go world like his father, and numerous times referring him as 'The Son of Touya Meijin' as if he didn't know his own name. It wasn't easy, living under the shadow of a greater being…

"I know…it's harsh, what people do. I get the same sort of things, on behalf of my father. But I guess for you it's much worse…"

"You kinda get used to it after eight years, whether you like it or not, don't you? You haven't heard what people who _do_ know the truth say about me…don't ask."

"I wasn't going to."

"So," The mocking attitude returned at an alarming level, "_You're_ a prodigy yourself. Your Dad's the Meijin. My brother must be the perfect rival for you, but too bad he's dead, so you're after me. Well, I'm telling you now, you're wasting your time."

Akira felt as if someone had slapped him across the face. Being the one on the receiving end of snide comments was not uncommon, especially amongst people of the same generation. They always talked behind their backs, but made sure it was loud enough for him to hear. Yet this…this just felt _degrading_ to an extent yet to be measured. He clenched his teeth and shook.

"What are you talking about! Look, this is not the reason I came to find you for! If you really need to release your anger on something, at least have the courtesy _not_ to do it on someone who's trying to help you!"

"Help me, yeah right."

"I just can't convince you like this, can I?" Akira, finally deciding against the impulse to ditch this person who wasn't understanding nor seeking to be understood, sank into the swing next to the occupied one, grateful to give his legs some rest. "But, please, just listen to me. What I'm going to tell you is import…are you listening!"

No response.

"I'm trying to help you!" The green-haired boy raised his voice yet again, "If you keep shutting yourself away nothing's ever going to be okay!"

"What are you helping me for? To become a Go prodigy like yourself?"

"No, that's not the point!"

"Then tell me, what _is_ your point!"

Akira fought to control the very strong will now of hurtling insults back, then getting up and leaving Hikaru to deal with his own problems. Whatever he said, Shindo was just not registering it into his head. _Why must he be so damn stubborn?_

"Just…listen, okay? I'll get to my point!"

Hikaru dug his shoes into the ground, rocking the swing gently, as if to comfort himself. It made a high-pitched creaking sound that echoed through the empty park as the movement persisted. He was still not looking anywhere but the ground between his feet, feeling guilty of existing in this world. Darkness was looming over fast, the final rays of the setting sun cast over the trees and clouds, staining them with colours of red, orange, and gold. Akira thought he had never seen a person look so lonely and withdrawn.

"I'm listening."

Akira cleared his throat, and started on his own account.

"I met your brother, a long time ago. When I was five, I think."

_Creak. Creak._

"He came over to our house to discuss games with my father's Kenkyuukai, that is, a discussion group."

_Creak. Creak._

"He played a game against my father then. And I watched them play."

_Creak. Creak._

"Do you have any idea at all of what a genius your brother is?"

_Creak._

"Why do you ask?" Hikaru replied softly after a long pause.

"You really don't, do you?"

"I do now."

"But you didn't then? I did. I _saw_ the person your brother was."

_Creak. Creak._

"Your brother impressed me…I wish I could play the kind of Go he did…"

_Creak. Creak._

"So…I challenged him after they finished the game."

_Creak. Creak._

"He promised me that I could play him equally someday."

Hikaru's heart gave a painful tug.

"Me, too."

Akira turned his head. "What?"

"Sai promised me, too. That I can play against him…fair and square…I was five years old then but I still remember it like it was yesterday."

Touya Akira stared at Hikaru. That detail was never mentioned to him before…his mind went whirring into motion, fitting the scattered pieces of the puzzle together.

It can't be wrong now. So that was it, the subtle hint but the most important asset to the complete picture…

"He…mentioned you." Akira went on. _Yes, it's all slipping into place…_

The creaking sound beside him halted unexpectedly.

"He...m-mentioned me?" Hikaru asked with a small voice and a pitch higher than usual.

Knowing Hikaru was waiting for him to go on, Akira continued.

"He…said that you also knew how to play Go. And he thought…he thought that we would meet one day."

Akira sat back on his swing seat and let out a breath, that seemed to ease the tension in his chest. But there was more still to say.

"I've always found your brother incredible. Otou-san told me that Shindo Sai shone so brightly that he'd shame the brightest of stars in the sky. His life was for Go, he was never meant to do anything else. But then I thought, it must be lonely and tiresome to have no rival to play against, and to compete against, because no one can defeat him."

_Yeah, if only I hadn't gone an done something stupid, Sai could still at least play Go!_

"You know, Shindo, at first I too, thought you could be the alternative to who your brother was. But now I understand, about why he promised both of us that we could play him equally someday, and why he mentioned you in front of me. It's because," Akira recalled the memories of that day eight years ago, and found himself wanting to cry. It felt unfamiliar, a first in a very long while.

"He was sublime in the Go he plays, and he knew it. But any one out of the two of us can't measure up to him solely by ourselves, no one can improve without a competitor. He had said that we might meet one day, and he gave a promise to both of us…that's good enough for me, and I recognise you, Shindo Hikaru, as my rival. Because, it was Shindo Sai's promise that maintained it."

After a slight pause when both neither moved a muscle nor said anything, the green-haired boy smiled a little sadly to himself, after all, he needed some consoling as well.

"We were meant to be rivals, and to play Go, and to play like him someday, the both of us. That was what your brother wanted for you, he wanted you to share what he loved. I'm sure he wouldn't be happy seeing you like this from wherever he is now."

A couple of drops of silent tears fell onto Hikaru's lap. They made no sound, but left dark spots on his jeans. Night had fallen inconspicuously around them, sodium lamps guttered into light, illuminating their little swing-stand with an orange glow.

_Sai, can I…can I play Go?_

"Shindo Sai sacrificed his life, so you can keep yours." Akira kept going, tilting his head upwards towards the sky, empty except for the lone, bright moon. "If he lived to play Go, you should, too. Because the life you are living is supposed to be his. If you deny yourself to what he lived for, you're devaluing what he gave you in the first place, so," He took a long, wistful sigh, "Did that make sense?"

When the occupant on the other swing didn't reply. Akira turned to look at Hikaru.

The bangs still hid his face, but Akira could hear him sob quietly through the reedy call of crickets accompanied by many other voices of the night. Akira breathed a sigh of relief from within, and proceeded to say no more. Gazing up at the night sky once again, he felt reassured to find many twinkling little lights; the moon was no longer alone.

* * *

_Is this what I've been trying to find?_

_All these years…all these years I wanted an answer, a path to walk._

_Have I been denying myself a right to live, and denying what you gave me?_

_Go…what was it to you?_

_You lived to play Go, you loved it more than anything else._

_You saved me from certain death, you gave me a second chance to live._

_I owe you so much more than my life._

_What can I do now? What can I do to repay you?_

_I will try my best._

_I will play Go. I want to play Go. I want to play like you._

_Are you listening?_

_Sai?_

_Someday, I'll play you fair and square._

_But before then…_

_I will follow in your footsteps._

"I think it's time to go home."

"…Uh."

"Your mother's waiting for you. You shouldn't let her worry."

"Touya…"

"Yes?"

"Thanks…for telling me."

"No problem. Want to come to my father's Go salon tomorrow?"

"…I'll see."

"I'll always be there in case you want to come."

They turned to different directions at a crossroad, and bid each other good night. Hikaru wiped the last tear stains away with a sleeve, then, with newly discovered confidence in himself, made his way down the path, back home.

The bright orb sprinkled its mellow silver light over the hushed darkness. It was full moon that night. The circle was complete, unblemished, like a promise fulfilled…

Owari

* * *

**A/N:** Pops champagne cork This fic is finally done! I'm throwing a party now, because I can finally sleep well at night without miming Akira-Hikaru fights and the dialogue for the thousandth time! Yippee! This is what you call liberation, man. But during the writing of this fic I had to wince many times at the pain Hikaru is feeling, or rather, I gave to him. I need to punish myself later on for it. But I am grateful to Akira for eternity in this chapter! 

Now with my freedom, I decide to shut myself back in the cage. I want to write a sequel, but a bit dry on ideas at the moment…anyone willing to help? Also, poke me if you want me to update any of my other fics.

Finally, if you have parts that you still do not understand, feel free to leave questions in your reviews and I'll email you! So anon reviewers, please leave your email address so I can get back at you guys and give out some decent thank-yous

Anyhow..I guess…I should be working on my other A/U ne? (HnG Fantasy remix, ID:1584117)

**Hikaru:** wipes face Pheew! It's done! It's really not me, acting all sentimental and stuff.

**Sal:** hands him glass of champagne Relax! I won't be writing about you being sad for a looong while to come.

**Hikaru:** Sorry, I'm underage.

**Sal:** I'm underage too, but who the hell gives?

**Hikaru:** Errr… _inches away from Sal_

**Sal:** Hmm, where is everyone else? There seems to be a dire absence of pretty bishounen. Touya Akira!

**Akira:** Who called? Oh, yeah, the end-of-fic celebration. Woohoo.

**Sal:** Champagne?

**Akira:** What's that?

**Hikaru:** It's a type of alcoholic drink, duh.

**Akira:** Oh, uh, I'm not allowed.

**Sal:** You people are such whimsies. I suppose Sai shouldn't be underage then. Saaai!

**Hikaru:** S-s-aai…? Sai's coming? Where is he?

**Akira:** SAI? Shindo! So you DO know him!

**Hikaru:** Oh shit. Erm, I said nothing… _takes off at a sprint_

**Akira:** WHERE is he! WHO is he! SHINDOOO! _chases after Hikaru down the road_

**Sal:** Oh no, big mistake. runs off to sip champagne by herself Well, hope they, er, can forget that. Anyways, thanks so much for reading Following in You Footsteps! I'll see you soon when I think of something else to write! And ter quote Hikago, "zutto ko no michi wo aruku! (that how you say it? Never mind.)" Jaa!

Cheers! It's all over!

I will walk this path forever! (Be afraid, be very afraid. But then I might not)

--

Sal


End file.
